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a cure for the common block

Archive for the category “murphy brown”

Everytime It Rains… You Get Wet

It was the last Thursday of the month, which meant it was Windham’s monthly appointment with his therapist, Dr. Furber. Windham had been concerned about the effectiveness of the therapy from the very first session during which the doctor asked “Does this look happy?/Does this look sad?” not referring to pictures of people, or even inkblots, but regarding situations like interviewing for a job, or setting aside time to be alone and relax. Windham became preoccupied with trying to suss the meaning of these questions which the Doctor seemed to pick up on, asking him curtly “Where are you?!” Over the next few months Windham conformed to the odd language and had many breakthroughs. What he never learned was that Dr. Furber was one of thousands of alien immigrants on planet Earth, one whose business entailed studying humans. Nor could he have guessed that just as easily as human eyes detect light waves, his species could perceive the mood of ingress and the passage of time.

#ShortShortStories #EverytimeItRainsYouGetWet

And So He Goes

Lyle Musgrave had too many problems to make a list or even prioritize which was worst; he was faced with his own mortality, literally. The Reaper explained the mix-up, although obviously vague about what details were mixed up, and bid Lyle adieu grimly promising to see him later. For approximately two weeks Lyle hesitated to go anywhere or do anything; he even tried switching to an all-liquid diet. The two-ish weeks ended one morning when he woke up, stepped out of bed, and immediately tripped and fell face first to the floor, narrowly missing the corner of a desk. His death was predetermined, he couldn’t stop it from happening, and it could have happened right then – LIGHTS OUT. It didn’t. He lived his life happy and without fear from that day until an unstated unit of time later when he was visiting his now-adult grandchild in her apartment, sitting on his old couch, the two enjoying a special sandwich he had made in her honor.

#ShortShortStories #AndSoHeGoes #Uh-Oh

Soul Man

The chilly bones did indeed grip Lyle Musgrave’s shoulder as he ate his gourmet sandwich, however he was not choking and his spirit did not nudge. Lyle looked up at a very confused specter of Death, the empty caverns of a skull contorting and furrowing like a cartoon. It stopped, pulled out a notepad and rubbed his skeletal fingers against its forehead, letting out a sigh. Death vaulted the couch and crashed next to Lyle, his form transforming to that of an unassuming young adult. Answers would come, but first the young man asked if Lyle could be troubled to make a sandwich for him?

#ShortShortStories #SoulMan #UhOh

Uh-Oh

Lyle Musgrave was so awkward that even the circumstances of his death were one of the most awkward situations of his life. One afternoon, as he was enjoying one of the most delicious sandwiches he had ever prepared (he prided himself on his culinary combinations), he discovered some things about the Grim Reaper. Apparently it is not just an element of culture, but an actual living species. One would think he made this discovery as he choked on a bite of his sandwich and felt the bony hand of Death take him by the shoulder and cast him into the afterlife, but you would be wrong… kind of.

#ShortShortStories #UhOh

It’s How You Play the Game

The pressure was on, the crowd was almost unanimously chanting the number two, while a hesitant few shook their heads; Dirk took a breath to reconsider things: the math was on his side, if he changed his mind about which door to open he would be more likely to win the grand prize. In the end it didn’t matter which door the prize was behind, what mattered was the decision he made backstage after the episode was filmed: keep and care for the goat or take a $350 cash value prize? Once again the math seemed to make the choice obvious, but Dirk did some different calculations than normal and gladly accepted the goat. In less than a week he was a national news story, crisscrossing the country to appear on shows as “The Goat Guy” and share his crazy story, within a year he purchased several more goats and established a “Goat Guy” line of products that allowed him to quit his job and enjoy the fruits of his fortune.

#ShortShortStories #ItsHowYouPlayTheGame

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